My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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