well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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