we're chasing vodka with high fives
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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