I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
