This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
