If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
