Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize