I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
