Plan B is the new Plan A
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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