Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
