did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
