Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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