drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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