So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
