Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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