He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
