Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
