can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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