Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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