I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
