Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
my shit smells like andre
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
