Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
