so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
