I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
