I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
...so i touched it.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Never let your siblings swipe right.
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