she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
As shirtless as possible
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
