Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
