Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
