So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
