Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
