Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
