It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
