so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Randomize
