Someone shit on the floor
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
