I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
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It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
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My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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