road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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