well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
