Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I intend to get homeless drunk
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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