FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
