If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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