you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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