How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
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Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
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I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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