so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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