she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
