thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
dude. I can hear the air.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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