God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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