so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
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I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
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I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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