I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I don't deserve a penis
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
