well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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