I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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