I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
