Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize