words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
