Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
