I cockslap morals
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
