i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
