You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
