I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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