im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
