worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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