All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize