My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
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